Sure, it’s nice to get a good review. But connecting with an audience is what really matters.
Time and again, we’ve been deeply moved and inspired by the comments and personal stories shared with us by audience members of all ages and backgrounds - whether it’s in the bar after the show, in our post-show discussions and free writing workshops, or on our feedback forms.
Here are some of them. If you’d like to add your own, we’d love to hear from you here.
Thank you so much for sharing and for engaging with our work.
Really Want To Hurt Me UK tour
“I saw Really Want To Hurt Me in Exeter and it was great - really moving stuff (some of which hit too close to the bone!), and I shed a few tears! My partner and I walked out afterwards in silence for a bit before we could speak. Absolutely brilliant.”
“Absolutely fantastic! Well written and superb acting. A great production. I spent half the show wiping my eyes. This was pretty much my life in 1984. It touched lots of nerves and emotions.”
“I really enjoyed the show and identified with the main character very closely. I was at secondary school from 1983-1990 and struggled with my sexuality, took refuge in music and was teased. Brilliantly acted. It echoed my school experiences and bought back some memories. Also reminded me that for each person going through their teenage years, there’s a lot to cope with as you work out who you are and battle with the need to be yourself vs the desire to conform and not be ostracised for being different.”
“Powerful. Well acted. Very relatable.”
“Emotionally charged, superb acting, true insight into the mind of a young boy growing up. Echoes in my own experience of childhood.”
“Gripping, incredible one-man performance. I grew up in the ‘70s/‘80s and could relate to the era.”
“The play was brilliantly acted. You could feel empathy with the actor. I think this play would be a great teaching tool in schools to show how not all children are the same. Brilliant actor. Fantastic play.”
“Viscerally powerful and so true to the agonies of sexual discovery and the desperate mess most of us made of it. It was an era that I well recall.”
“Excellent. Thought provoking. Believable. Great actor. True to life.”
“Loved the dancing and the honesty!”
“It was brilliant! Powerful, moving and just incredible. I am living in a different generation, and I connected with this on so many levels.” (Written comment from a 13-year-old girl.)
“The show was really enjoyable, especially liked the music and the dancing parts, thought this fitted well with the performance and the dancing was great. I think it was easy to relate to the pressures of growing up and first experiences. Could understand how this would have been harder in the ‘80s than for LGBTQ [people] now and this was clear in the performance.”
“The energy – the dancing – the accent – the drama of it all – feeling his anguish. Know people who have been through similar.”
“We loved it, it was a powerful reflection on a difficult time. Loved the lights and music. I had gay friends in the ‘80s at school – it has made me reflect on how they may have felt.”
“Nostalgic… Power of music… Takes you back to your early years. Summed up growing up gay in ‘80s Britain.”
“Excellent. It’s still pertinent to contemporary life.”
“Inspiring and such amazing acting. Very relatable to today’s society.”
“Soundtrack matched words. Very emotional. It could have a big impact on people still not feeling sure about how to be “yourself” and still be free.”
“I loved how immersive it was and it really gave me insight into the LGBT community. Gave me more insight of the struggles the LGBT community face.”
“I loved the dancing and way the scenes were acted. I’m a heterosexual woman but I connected with the alienation.”
“The effect of the play was quite profound and it took me some time to process. The show struck a major chord with its portrayal of suicide and made me re-evaluate similar incidents in my past that I hadn’t previously acknowledged for what they were. I wasn’t prepared to confront those parts of my past but I am glad the show spurred me to do so. As a trans woman who knew at an early age and grew up in the nineties (born ’92), I was disheartened to see how little things changed from when the play was set to when I grew up. Many things portrayed had directly comparable counterparts in my early years. Very powerful and thought provoking.”
“Sincerity. Intensity. Despair becoming hope.”
“How incredibly written it was and amazingly acted. Congratulations all round! But also such a powerful piece and I agree with the others in the audience who mentioned about getting it into schools, as education is key.”
“A soundtrack to my youth – in music and words! A touching story of something that has always been hard but more so back in the ‘80s. Identified with many of the historical references and loads of empathy with the character.”
“Reminded me a lot of my school and youth – but I really enjoyed it! Still think schools are like this.”
Writing Workshops
“Great relaxed setting with beneficial exercises for writers at any stage of experience. Always good to meet other LGBT+ creatives too!”
“Thank you for the workshop. It was an incredibly beneficial experience and helped me figure out ways to further my writing.”
“Incredibly useful in focusing my thoughts and having moments to share and feedback helped to further shape my immediate writing in the session. Learning of/sharing with other LGBTQ+ creatives very much resonated with me and helped me to understand the issues we share as a community.”
“Loved how relaxed, open and casual it felt, was a great experience and really helpful. Very relevant – wonderful to feel safe in a space exploring what can sometimes be sensitive.”
“It’s very useful for a not very experienced writer. It opened different views of how to write a script.”
“It got me writing in terms of drama, which I have not done for a while. It has stimulated two lines of thought for 2 plays. It was relevant to me in terms of my writing life, and my life as a gay man.”
“Fascinating, motivates me to write.”
“It was a sudden decision to come today and I found it, to my amazement, thoroughly interesting. It has made me take a good look at myself and life direction. And how much I like to write. I just didn’t know I did!”
“There was freedom to write, or not write, about whatever I wanted.”
“Enjoyable. Pushed ideas on getting back to writing. Helped ideas on writing projects, potentially leading to new projects.”
“I think it was massively insightful and genuinely a worthwhile and important experience. I liked how open the exercises were. It felt like a truly open and safe, non-judgemental space. Directly relevant. I was writing about my own personal situation and it gave me new insights. It was cathartic as well as helpful as a writer and a human.”
“Really good. Enjoyed the writing exercises. It made me realise I can write and enjoy it.”
“Really, really good – thank you. Nice, gentle and open approach. I felt secure in the setting. Has really helped me reignite my writing brain. It felt relevant to my life - topical and broad.”
More tour feedback…
“Moving, the description of ‘80s school felt absolutely real. Alienation was common, for lots of reasons. Not knowing where to sit at break etc.”
“Beautiful, sad, haunting, really enjoyable. Got so much out of seeing it in such a lovely space. I identify with the bullying and namecalling at school and feeling the need to fit it to a world where I did not really belong.”
“Really good acting – timing brilliant, good use of props. ‘80s references were good.”
“Really good show, reflects on how the LGBT community are viewed today. Had many people want me to “change” for them rather than be myself.”
“Loved having an original piece of LGBTQ theatre. It was relatable on so many levels. Directly impacted me! I didn’t want to admit to anyone about my sexuality, I didn’t want to get rejected.”
“Fantastic observations. Was there with Ryan through most of the play. Very relevant, the anxiety of being ‘different’ was so well portrayed.”
“Thought-provoking and intense. I work with different kids who have experienced similar behaviour to that in the play.”
“Thought-provoking. Emotional. Brother went through similar struggles.”
“Very thought-provoking – made you think about how people are able to deal with things in life.”
“My time in the ‘80s…. Loved the intimacy of the acting. Very relevant, especially the music.”
“Very evocative, took the audience on a real journey. Echoed feelings of being ‘othered’ at school.”
“Powerful, honest. The use of music and what it meant to him as he went through his early teenage years. Born the same time, so related to some of the music – Smiths/Cocteau Twins – and how it made me feel those days.”
“Believable acting. Sensitive. A lot of talent.”
“I connected with a lot of scenes of self discovery and doubt. It was very self reflecting, despite my own age gap with the ‘80s and my youth of the ‘00s. It felt directly relevant to me as a queer person. I related to a lot of the situations, a lot of scenes were similar to my own experiences.”
“Sad, very tense. The solo performance concentrated everything. We met in 1980, married in 1984. This is our era and we had gay friends who struggled. Still do.”
“Really well performed – thought provoking and great to watch. Thank you.”
“It was amazing, clever, funny and full of emotion – would recommend it. Makes you think about other people and what they may be going through.”
“Wonderful story and acting plus great soundtrack. Great understanding of the conflicts that gay people experience.”
“Relevant. Thought it was so insightful, at times difficult to watch because felt very real. Many of my friends and loved ones have had similar experiences.”
“I thought it was absolutely fantastic. I didn’t know what to expect, but thought Ryan did an exceptional job acting – incredible!! I grew up in the 80s, so completely relevant to my life, had friends in school who had an awful time growing up knowing that they were gay.”
“Heartfelt, vulnerable, sad, painful, confessional. I am a long way from the age of the character but there was something of the memory of the uncertainty of youth that afflicts some people.”
“Enjoyable, not what I expected. Felt relevant to my childhood!”
“I thought it was brilliant and particularly enjoyed the subtle visual changes (lights and props/staging wise) etc and the use of movement/characterisation. Great pacing and very honest. Thank you. I think growing up gay can feel like a bit of a minefield and navigating school, social situations, life in general etc can feel tricky (to say the least) and I definitely found/find that pretty difficult. Felt very relatable, really enjoyed, thank you.”
“Informative. Entertaining. I danced/took acting lessons while at an all boys school. It was a lonely school life.”
“Very captivating and emotionally powerful. Touched on very real themes and I loved it. Lots of the experiences of the protagonist were similar to my own.”
“Powerful. Emotional. Reminiscent of teenage years and of having been an outsider.”
“The intimacy made it.”
“I really enjoyed the show, Ryan’s performance was very powerful/poignant. I related to growing up in a rural community where you feel isolated/the odd one out. I loved the ‘80s music. It reminded me of my childhood. It felt relevant to growing up in a small rural town where London felt a very long way away.”
“My partner and I were in the audience at the Cheltenham Everyman. We had previously seen the play at the Edinburgh Fringe. The performance was energetic and engaging. Congratulations! The story was representative of the real experience of gay youth. The contrast between moments of utter dejection and quasi-suicide and moments of joy and – eventually – an emergent hope was effective. ‘It gets better!’”
“Absolutely brilliant. Loved the fact there wasn’t a huge set. It really made me focus on the character and went on the journey with him. Incredibly written, amazingly acted. Congratulations all round! It did make me think of some friends and how they must have felt at times. It’s a powerful piece and the more people who see it, the better!”
“It built gradually, till you really felt a part of his world, feeling with him. Better not to have lots of props – he being so explosed drew the audience in.”
“As a gay man who has worked as a gay campaigner and counsellor I found it very relevant. Hope things are at least a little better now.”
“Thought it was AMAZING. What it’s like to be gay as a kid sounds really tough and scary and sad. Honestly it just made me think about how to make life easier for the LGBTQ+ community.”
“Performance was amazing. Show was engaging and relevant. It felt real and touched on themes effectively that many can relate to. While not directly relevant to me, it was clearly relevant to a lot of people I’ve met and felt extremely real.”
“Brilliant performance. The entire audience was fully engaged from start to finish, which tells you how entirely people could relate and felt a part of it. Full of nostalgia (even for those not born/even alive in the 80s). Hope the situation has improved but still this work is crucial to tell the story.”
“Fantastic show; loved minimal set, cast, sound effects, lighting etc. So effective! Ryan’s performance was breathtaking, so emotive! I thought it captured the theme and feelings around the theme perfectly. I was indirectly affected; but I was still touched by the performance, my heart racing and holding my breath at various points. This stuff needs to be in schools!”
“The show spoke directly to me, as it was bang on the time I was at school and experiencing similar issues.”
“Enjoyable, very good performance from solo actor, that brought back memories of my similar experiences in the 1980s as gay teenager. It felt directly relevant to me, as I had similar issues growing up in 1980s.”
“Thanks for a thought-provoking show. 1984 vividly recalled – fear, alienation, state intervention into personal space, outsiders due to perceived criminality, state of siege countered by euphoria of music/cinema/theatre that was celebrating sexuality. Things are ‘better’ now, but more to lose in these chaotic times. 35 years later, I can still feel the hate/hurt of those days. It never leaves you.”