Really Want to Hurt Me
A Flaming Theatre production
Written, directed and produced by Ben SantaMaria
Performed by Ryan Price
Supported by Arts Council England, Soho Theatre Edinburgh Lab and Jerwood Space
PR by Chloé Nelkin Consulting and Kevin Wilson
Developed with support from Philippa Sarll and Steve Tutt
Devon, 1984. Constant pressure to be straight and masculine makes a schoolboy feel like he’s living in Orwell’s 1984. School bullies. Teenage heartache. Hating yourself. Trying to tape the Top 40 off the radio without the DJ talking over the songs. Dancing defiantly to your Walkman to stay alive.
This hit dark comedy with dance sequences speaks directly to the experiences of LGBTQ+ people of all generations.
This production premiered in January 2018 at Exeter’s Bike Shed Theatre (From Devon With Love festival - Judges’ Pick of the Festival) and in February at the Old Red Lion Theatre in London, developed with support from Arts Council England.
After an Edinburgh preview at Theatre503, it had a successful Edinburgh Fringe run at Assembly Hall, before transferring back to Theatre503 and being programmed in Soho Theatre’s Soho Rising festival. It was shortlisted for the Brighton Fringe Award for Excellence.
The script and choreography were developed further for a 2019 UK tour, with additional Arts Council England support, visiting Sheffield Crucible, Nottingham Playhouse, Theatr Clwyd, Theatre Royal Plymouth, Everyman Cheltenham, The Marlborough in Brighton, Barnfield Theatre in Exeter, Exeter Phoenix, Harlow Playhouse and the Key Theatre in Peterborough. The playtext was published with ACE support. Free LGBTQ+ writing workshops were delivered at various tour venues.
The production was seen by a total audience of over 2000, received 4 and 5-star reviews, and had sold-out shows at Soho Theatre, Sheffield Crucible, Theatre503, The Old Red Lion, The Marlborough and the Edinburgh Fringe.
It was featured in The Guardian’s Hottest Front-Room Seats: The Best Theatre and Dance to Watch Online (2021).
Read reviews and press articles for the show here.
You can buy the playtext to help support our future work here.
Watch the 2018 Edinburgh preview performance at Theatre503 below.
An earlier short version of the play was staged at London artist collective Monday Club’s “Prejudice and Pride”-themed scratch showcase at the Rosemary Branch Theatre in July 2017.
It was subsequently programmed in The Actors Centre’s “12 Days of Christmas” festival at the Tristan Bates Theatre in December.
The script of that short version was longlisted from 1136 submissions for the Heretic Voices New Monologue Writing competition at the Arcola Theatre.
Watch the UK tour trailer below.
